Flicks and what I thought
Ticket stub

Well, I knew there was a good reason to go see movies. After Underworld last week, I was starting to wonder.

The Rundown was a damned good movie. It was just as much comedy as it was action, and the Rock and Seann William Scott clicked like Laurel and Hardy. The entire audience was roaring with laughter at times, and my sides hurt now.

The action portions of the movie had some of the most painful, most tear-inducing, most audience-wincing scenes of bodily injury I've ever seen. Not blood or gut-sprays or anything, just things that make everyone say "Oh! OH! Ouch! OW!" as the character on the screen takes a tree to the crotch while falling down a mountain. It was painfully hilarious.

If you have a hankering for a funny, well-directed action flick, go see it. Now. Even if you don't - go see it. Now, I said.


Permalink: 09-27-2003
Ticket stub

Oh my god. It was the Matrix with vampires and werewolves! I swear to god!

This movie tried too hard. They tried to create a dark, ominous, awe-inspiring movie, and it didn't work. At all.

The entire movie was dark. And I do mean everything - just about every movie has some color or a bright spot... Except for this movie. The entire show was drab, dark, and quite frankly dull in the scenery department. They tried too hard to be "dark and scary and stuff." Christ, I felt like I just spent the last two weeks in the sewers.

The plot was horribly arranged. They started the movie with the assumption that we had already read the book or something - they just hopped right into this "great war" that vampires and werewolves have been fighting for centuries, and they expected us to know exactly what the score was. They didn't give us shit for background, they just assumed that we knew. We didn't. And after the first hour, personally, I didn't give a shit about their little "war."

Absolutely nothing about this movie "flowed" - it seemed to be a poorly-chosen collection of short clips that just didn't have anything to do with one another.

The effects were OK. That's as far as I'll go - they were OK. Some of the effects were quite nice, but their "flashback/memory" scenes were painful. Not poorly-done, but physically painful to watch - the strobe/light/dark/blurry/clear effects they used physically hurt. I had to close my eyes, lest I either develop a migraine or let my eyeballs explode. I looked around during some of the sequences, and most of the audience was doing the same - closing their eyes. That's not a good sign.

I have to admit, they did cast a good woman in the lead - she was a hottie. So, if you can sit through two hours of a babe in skin-tight vinyl and a bustier running around being angry, perhaps you can sit through this movie happy.

Personally, I was wondering if I could sneak out unnoticed after the first 50 minutes. For me, that's quite the "thumb's down" - I am normally very forgiving when it comes to movies. However, Underworld was just plain poorly done, and it disappointed me greatly.


Permalink: 09-20-2003