Flicks and what I thought
Ticket stub

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events is based on a series of books that I didn't even know existed until tonight. Heh. So, I'm not going to try to comment on how well the movie played with the books. In fact, I rather try to avoid comparing movies to the books they were made from, as the movies are always different, that's just a fact of life.

Anyway, this was a very, very different movie. Very odd. Very interesting.

The sets were incredible - they were detailed, very carefully done, and quite frankly over the top in a good way. The sets emphasized the absurdity of the entire mess that the main characters were in.

I thought the main characters did a fantastic job... By main characters, I am referring to the children. Emily Browning played Violet Baudelaire, Liam Aiken played Klaus, and Kara and Shelby Hoffman played the baby Sunny. The four of them did very well in my opinion.

Jim Carrey played Count Olaf, the Bad Guy(tm). He did well also, but I thought he overdid it a bit. It was part of his character, but it just seemed a bit too fake every so often.

Meryl Streep played Aunt Josephine - and I thought she did a fantastic job. Her paranoia knew no bounds.

All in all, I'm glad I went to this movie - it wasn't a laugh riot, it didn't make me cry, but it entertained me. It was extremely interesting. If you see it, you might understand what I mean.

Permalink: 12-21-2004
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I went to this movie with a single intention - to see how bad it could really get... "Blade II" was so bad it gave me cancer; surely "Blade: Trinity" couldn't be any worse.


Well, it wasn't the twenty-pound sack of warm pus that "Blade II" was. I'll give it that. It did have a very kickin' soundtrack... It was an awesome mixture of techno and heavy metal, and I really did enjoy it. In fact, I'll probably pick it up on CD. Very good tunes indeed.

Some chick named Parker Posey played easily the worst role I've seen in 2004 - her performance was so completely devoid of skill that it almost sucked part of my soul out of me. In one scene, she would over-act, while in the next, she wouldn't act enough. Jeezus, there should be criminal punishments available for actors/actresses that screw the pooch that bad.

Ryan Reynolds did a spectacular job in his role - he was obviously the comic relief, and omigod did we need it. His wisecracks and one-liners were gratefully appreciated. He actually made the audience laugh, which is probably the only reason we didn't riot and burn the theater to the ground.

Wesley Snipes played his usual role - totally devoid of anything but macho "you are so far below me, it's not even funny" attitude. He told the vampires that they didn't have a chance. He told other vampire hunters that they didn't stand a chance, and were amateurs. God himself could have descended from the heavens above, and Snipes would have told him to take his amateur ass home, because he wasn't tough enough. And trust me, he would have done it with his typical sneer, hiding behind his $500 sunglasses.

Along with Blade's obnoxious attitude came the usual load of crappy gadgets invented by the "amateur" vampire hunters - a big bow-looking thing that had a "string" of ultraviolet light (and when not needed, folded up into a purse-sized package), a crossbow that hurled warhead-tipped arrows at 300fps plus, a flying spinny whirlie thing that killed an entire row of vampires... You name it, they had it, and it looked incredibly hokie.

And when it came to the grand finale (whatever), they of course were out of gadgets, and had to go sword-to-sword. The end fight wasn't that bad, mostly because Reynolds' character kept the humor flowing. Blade just wasn't exciting - he was an excitement black hole, sucking the life out of his impossible "martial arts" moves and his dead lines.

All in all, it wasn't a hugely bad movie. "Blade II" was so bad, it actually killed my pet turtle. "Blade: Trinity" was only bad enough to give me gas, and perhaps a hatred of both Parker Posey and Wesley Snipes. I went with my best buddy - he liked it - so, I'll probably end up going to the next one (you know they're going to do another). And just like this one, I'll keep an open mind for "Blade IV - The Idiocy" or whatever it ends up being.

In a nutshell, I told my friend that "Blade: Trinity" was a thousand times better than "Blade II." Which puts it right about a quarter of a thumb.

Permalink: 12-12-2004
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This movie could have been called "Jason Bourne Kicks Ass, Part Deux", and it would have been just as effective. But, I guess "The Bourne Supremacy" works too.

When the first Jason Bourne ("The Bourne Identity") movie came out, I was worried about Matt Damon's role as Jason Bourne. I've read every Bourne book I believe, and I just wasn't sure Damon had it in him.

They proved me wrong.

And in the second movie, they downright embarrassed my stupid ass.

This movie was fantastic. The only thing I can think of that I didn't like was their new action sequence camerawork - they changed to a very annoying "jerking flashing spinning" method for the action scenes. You know, where the camera is kept in constant motion, and the scene is put together in a series of very short, very flashy sequences. I suppose it's supposed to portray the feeling of "being in the action" or something... It just gives me a headache.

But that's the only thing I can think of that I didn't like. I loved this movie, and can't wait for the next one...

Permalink: 12-11-2004
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It has been years and years since I have read Asimov's "I, Robot", and I think I need to read it again.

I thought this movie was very good. I'm not going to try to compare it to the book, because I don't remember a lot of the book. But it followed the basic premise well enough.

The special effects in this movie were phenomenal. And the best part about them - they didn't look like special effects. They were so well done that they appeared to be truly real. That's hard to do, when you're creating a movie as complex as "I, Robot".

Will Smith played a pretty good part as a technophobic cop, and the lovely Bridget Moynahan did an excellent job as a standoffish robot designer.

Definately a "two-thumbs-up" movie.

Permalink: 12-11-2004
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Spider-Man, Spider-Man... This is, of course, the second Spider-Man movie starring Toby Maguire and Kirsten Dunst. Mmmmm, Kirsten.

This installment brought on a new super villan - Alfred Molina as Dr. Otto Octavius. Molina has played in other movies, but nothing so big as Spider-Man 2. I was a bit uncertain about this, but he did a fantastic job as the insane Doc Ock.

The special effects were awesome as usual, although a bit over the top in some scenes. Doc Ock's mechanical arms were especially overdone - they just didn't seem "right" for some reason. Perhaps I was expecting too much.

All in all, though, this was an awesome movie, and a fitting sequel to Spider-Man. I can't wait for the third, and hopefully they'll dial down on the special effects a little.

Permalink: 12-11-2004
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I saw this movie in Seattle, with a buddy of mine from the "back home" days. We both decided that we wanted to see this movie, and we both wanted to see pretty much any movie, just to get inside a theater and enjoy the air conditioning (Seattle was in the ugly throes of a heat wave). So, we went.

And holy god, did we laugh. We laughed until we hurt. We laughed until our sides ached, we laughed until our faces flushed, we laughed until we went into uncontrollable coughing fits.

Vince Vaughn kicks ass. I noticed that he's only a year older than myself, and he's undoubtably about fifty gazillion times richer than I am. Bastard. My sister lusts after him. Heh.

Rip Torn also kicks ass.

OK, so I wandered a bit there. Back to the movie - Ben Stiller plays an egotistical fitness fanatic, Jennifer Aniston played the hot hot HAWT attorney, and Rip Torn played the down-n-out-former-dodgeball-champion-willing-to-coach-the-losers-to-victory guy.

And you know what? Because I'm so behind with my flick reviews, this movie is already out on DVD (I just bought it tonight). And I think I'm going to watch it now.

More reviews tomorrow... I still have quite the stack of movie stubs.

Permalink: 12-11-2004
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WOOHOO. The Dreamworks folks do it again!

You loved Shrek. You know you did, and you admit it (or you should, if you don't). Well, prepare to love Shrek 2 even more - this movie was a hoot.

It had everything - romance, adventure, a bitchy fairy godmother, a giant gingerbread cookie monster, what more could you ask for?

You go see movie now.

Permalink: 12-11-2004
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OK. I was very pleased with the way this movie turned out. Very pleased indeed.

(And yes, I know it's been a gazillion months since I've done a review - I just got my scanner hooked back up tonight, so I have a stack of movies to go through)

Anyhoo, Van Helsing - it was a fun movie. It was the tale of a tough guy extraordinaire, a wandering "bounty hunter" sent by Rome to deal with creatures and beings of an .. exceptional .. nature. Ie, monsters.

Hugh Jackman (of X-Men fame) did a fantastic job as Van Helsing, and Kate Beckinsale was drooliliscious. I tell ya - she was the hottie from Underworld, and once again she's running around being pissed in a bustier. I love this woman, but not quite as much as my buddy Paul. ;)

This movie took some creative license with childhood stories, but the way it turned out, I was OK with that. Go rent it... It was a lot of fun!

Permalink: 12-11-2004