08-21-2003: You know, I just found a fantastic article about introverts written by Jonathan Rauch for the Atlantic Online. This is something unexpected - I was casually surfing, and happened upon it. And it fits me to a friggin' tea.

Call me unschooled, but I never really put a name to how I feel about socialization (or never took the time, since I can be a rather lazy bastard). I am an introvert, and Rauch has described it perfectly. Perhaps I need to learn to pick a banjo with my toes or something - I never realized what a true introvert was, until reading this.

Read it. It's good stuff. And if the Atlantic would actually provide a decent (read, electronic) way of contacting Mr. Rauch, I'd send him an email of thanks and praise.

Kudoes to you, Mr. Rauch. You nailed it on the head.

08-20-2003: Be wary of the guinea grinder.

Be very wary of the guinea grinder.

I went to the truck stop for lunch today, and one of the waitresses suggested I try the grinder. I was in the mood for a change, so I said what the hell.

This thing was a foot long, a hollowed-out hoagie stuffed with spicy sausage and topped with about an inch of cheese. I had three heart attacks and a grand mal seizure just looking at the thing.

But ohmigod, was it good.

Lordy, I've got some pretty major biology going on right now...

08-06-2003: So, some jackass hit my car last night.

And not while I was driving it, either - this person nailed it in my own parking lot. While it was parked. And I wasn't in it.

No, some gutless wonder either had a few too many at the bar, or didn't make the turn into the garages, or just spaced off enough to plow into my passenger-side rear quarterpanel, schmucking it in far enough to peel strips of rubber off the tire every time I went over a bump.

"Oh, certainly you're insured!" you must be asking. Of course I am. Unfortunately, because my car is older, I don't pay an arm and a leg for full coverage. You know, the type of coverage that would cover this sort of thing. I have liability insurance, which of course does not cover collision or comprehensive types of damage. But, that's a moot point - my deductible is $500, which is right around the amount of damage done to my car.

So, basically, some witless twit with the gonads of a goldfinch schmucked my car and took off, leaving me with a lovely bit of damage. Oh, and a smoldering urge to find out who did it. Of course they didn't leave a note with their name and number - that would have been both legal and moral.

Well, the police report has been filed, and I got a little help with the car. So that's good. But, it doesn't address the problem of closure.

You see, I am still irritated, annoyed, and generally irked about the entire thing. And if you are the pathetic little monkey that managed to lose control of daddy's SUV and smack into my car, and then leave the scene, I have a few thoughts for you:

1. Grow some nuts
2. Wash the black cherry paint off your front bumper fast, because if I find it, I'm going to lay a turd right on your windshield
3. Karma is real - be prepared

Assmonkey.