04-08-2004: "I'm still a winner! I am! I am!"
Some of you may remember Elecia Battle, from Cleveland, Ohio, USA. She was the winner that filed a police report right around New Years, saying that she had purchased the winning lottery ticket at a convenience store, but had then lost the ticket. The real winner claimed the prize later, and Battle was charged with filing a police report.
Now, Battle insisted that she had purchased the winning ticket and lost it, even after the winner produced not only the ticket, but the receipt for the ticket (who keeps the friggin' receipt?). Battle finally all but admitted that she made the story up, and dropped her lawsuit.
Well, guess what, kiddies... Battle has been (gasp) found guilty of both filing a false police report, as well as being a first-class asshat. We'd like to show you her statement after her sentencing, where she got nailed for $6596.71 in fines and restitution, as well as 50 hours of community service:
"I have not been defeated. I'm victorious," Battle said after the sentencing. "I still turned out as a winner." The quote is from the SFGate Story and the AP.
"I'm victorious" ? "turned out as a winner" ? You were convicted and sentenced, you asshat! That woman has some real issues with reality. Welcome to the hallowed halls of the Asshats, Battle. You really, really do deserve it.